DENcorp

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Deja Vu

Hi everyone!

Remember the 'Coffee Bean mistake' post I wrote before?

Well, if you have forgotten, I'd be more than happy to help you recall.

Happens like this, I ordered a drink, and was asked to give my name for collection later on.

I gave my name. And this came out.

But that's what happened several months ago.

Today, I went to the same place again, and did the same thing - ordered my drink, told them my name and wait.

Knowing that 'a mistake' happened before, I took a deep breath and tried to tell the guy my name as clear as possible.

Shortly, as I realized my order was ready, I was given yet another surprise.

Who the hell is 'Mr Tazman'??

Is my name really that difficult to pronounce and spell? Got write "mister" some more!

This is the not same guy who wrote my name. The last time, it was a female, but now, it's a guy. And again, not to be racist, I think they're both Filipinos.

Perhaps it's really my mistake. I should've told him my name is John or Gary or Ali.

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:: Posted by DENCORPORATION at 8:02 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, November 1, 2009

DENcorp Special: Idiot's Guide To Prom! (if there is)

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm here writing this very short prom guide to aid you if you have doubts on finding yourself a partner, what to wear, how to be prom king and so on.

I'll start on what a guy should wear for prom.

Though formal attire are required for proms, it is thought that suits are not all that necessary. A long-sleeve buttoned shirt, long pants, leather belt, leather shoe, a tie or a bow-tie would be enough.

The newest boyband in town. To book this band for your own private party, contact Gary.

You can still wear a suit or jacket to enhance your looks even more if you're aiming to be a contender for the prom king title. Or rather, trying to be a chick-magnet.

For some, wearing sunglasses may be essential as there might be paparazzis and tons of photographers with the big black heavy SLR cameras ready to snap a picture of you with a super high intensity flash that might keep you blinded for 5 seconds.

Style your hair. Bring a comb, or a small bottle of wax just in case your hair got messed up when all the girls tried to touch you. It'll definitely come in handy.

Every 10 minutes or so, just keep going to the toilet to check if you're still looking good, especially to see if your hair's still messy, but don't go too often, because people would think you're having a stomachache.

But no worries, after all, you'll still have alasan for going to the toilet.

Random Guy John: "Ehh, why you always go toilet? Wanna praattt-praattt-praattt is it? No wonder I always smell someone's kantut! Smell like durian u noe!! Pfft"
You: "Haha, no lah, actually I hear lame jokes, sangat lucu, bla bla bla, I nak pigi tandas bla bla bla"

Spot a handsome and emo guy sitting at the back there?

For the girls, hmmm.. I'm not sure, because this is a Muslim country, I'd expect every Muslim girls to wear a very colorful baju fesyen, with all the nice nice flowery designs and cuttings all over. Definitely an average joe-killer.

For non-Muslim girls, a long dress would be the best choice.

But of course, if you can, try to buy one from outside the country, just so that no one else would wear the same. It's alright if you can't. You know you did your best anyway.

Also, don't try too hard to be different. Because being different can really mean very different.

Like this.

Fail.

Just don't wear those t-shirts and jeans that anyone would wear to the Mall.

To get the best attention during the night, all you gotta do is to be emo.
-Seek attention by avoiding everybody.
-Be sensitive.
-If you're a guy with long hair, cover part of your eyes.
-Don't laugh at people's joke no matter how funny it is. If it's too funny, try your best to maintain the Jay Chou stare.

Or you can also be gothic.
-If you're a guy, you gotta seriously start taking make-up classes now dammit!
-Put on dark eyeliners, color your nails black, and use only black lipsticks, but don't paint your face! It's not Halloween!
-You may choose to pierce yourself on either your lips or your brows.
-If you're rich enough, go buy yourself a good 19th century black coat. For girls, you need long black dresses.
-To heighten the effect, you girls should consider wearing a net on your face.

Let's move to the next part. In finding yourself a partner 'cause it may spare you some bucks..

First, ask around and try to see if the girl already has a date. Rehearse what you want to say to the girl. If you got b@llz and are confident without practicing, then go right ahead! Just don't be all nerve-wrackling and embarrassed, who knows you might say the wrong thing and got a slap by the girl instead.

"Ex-exxxx-SKIUS me, u.. uuuuu wannnna g-go porn?"

Keep your invitation short and get straight to the point. Don't give any long-winded explanations or jokes. Just say what you want!

Here's an example: "Hey (Name), do you have a second? I just wanted to know if you'd like to go to the prom with me?"

Bad example: "Hey (Name), I want to go proms with you. But you pay $25, i pay $25 k? Fair and square."

Or you can even give her a candy to persuade her even more! Maybe Choki-choki, Toggi, Merci or M&Ms.

Well, if the girl you wanted to invite happens to be living just nextdoor, you can always ask her out using a notepad and a markerpen.

Write down what you wanna tell her on the notepad with the markerpen and show her through the window because that's how you're gonna ask her, no text message or msn thingy.

She'll first reject you, but it's alright. It's not the end yet.

Awwww. You got rejected.

You feel emo and sad because you are rejected, but as the old folks always say, nothing is impossible! So you patiently wait and wait for your chance.

Then, seeing you behaving so sad and emo, she'll ask you, "You okay?"

At this point, ignore her and go away immediately! Call the organisers and buy a singles ticket! Oh, and make sure you do let her see you cry too!

Why?

Because after all, she'll kesian you, dump her partner and then go join you in the night!

And when that happens, just look at her. Don't blink, and approach her slowly.

The next 10 seconds, you already know you got yourself a partner. :)

So what's the next thing to do?

What do you think..?

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Of course go find the organisers and exchange your singles ticket for a couples ticket!

Already tell you got discount liaw you don't listen!!

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:: Posted by DENCORPORATION at 8:03 PM | 0 comments